[Thursday October 20th, 2005] yep im offically in a bad mood.. nothing new i guess. lately ive just felt so down and sad and i dont know what it is. i want to stop eating for the rest of my life BECAUSE NOTHING IS HELPING! and i get so jealous with derek but i feel like i have a reason to be... :/ which i know isnt good. i need a job AND I CANT FIND ONE. im just sad blah 1 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Monday October 17th, 2005] my mom is going crazy i swear. shes on her pills and everything else. and shes trying to make us kids feel bad that she cut her wrists.. like it was our fault. i hate this so much sometimes.. and because her and philip are fighting no one has a ride to work or school tomorrow, because its OUR fault. i hate this. :/ but im making good chicken for dinner yum :) 4 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Sunday October 16th, 2005] the party was fun last night. a lot of cool kids were there.. but there were alsoa lot of bros but then the bros wanted to fight the scene kids and it turend into a huge riot on the street... then the bros left cause they had too.. eveyone got DRUNKK and we danced and just had a good time. meanwhile at me casa.... my mother managed to cut her wrists and my step father and her must have gotten into a huge fight because he poured an entire bucket of white paint over her head.. we are now in the process of trying to remove it...i hate when this shit happens. what if she really died.. it makes me feel like she doesnt love us kids enough to stay alive for us... oh and driving with a REALLY drunk driver is NO fun at ALL. 12 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Saturday October 15th, 2005] so yeah i'm already getting tired to lj. i actually don't like most of the people on my friends list. there are about 5 of you who actually comment and i enjoy reading your journals. the rest of you suck at life. SERIOUS friends cut tomorrow more then likely. so if you REALLY feel like staying on my friends list and being a friend. comment... those few of you i like will be kept no matter what. oh yah party tonight woo hoo. 7 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Friday October 14th, 2005] derek's show is tonight. i am excited!!@#$#% but right now... i'm sick as fuck... i have THE worst cold EVER. and just ugh i hate stuffy noses...alot... but yeah bye 0 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Thursday October 13th, 2005] so yesterday was fun i hung out with my cousin and my friend daniel whom i have not actually hung out with in quite sometime and it was nice to see him. but yeah, derek got a little mad because i used to have a huge crush on him, but its not like that anymore, its all friendship. sorry ive been lacking in the comments department, ive been sorta busy, but i have been readin everyones journals. k bye 3 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Tuesday October 11th, 2005] so pretty much derek and i talked a bit last night and i told him how i felt about a few things.. like that i feel as if my feelings dont matter to him..and reasons why i feel that way and he started crying and told me he loved me and he's really sorry for making me feel that way. i just hope hes being sincere, because i need him too... hes the only stable thing in my life... so yeah he started working at albertsons down the street from my house today. he looked really cute this morning. :) i love him. i turned in a few more applications today, and i'm going out to find more later. i need a job.. so bad. 2 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Monday October 10th, 2005] so pretty much i made a good a dinner haha i love cooking. :) oh and i hate my stepdad. but i loev my boyfriend. job hunting was fun today... 1 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Saturday October 8th, 2005] last night was SOOO fun.... derek, puga, john, and albert all went over to shannen and megans house and just. we drank till we all got pretty stupid lol. and megan was so goneee. but yeah i love those people so much. things are really turning around and my friends are the best things EVER. derek FINALLLLYYYYYYY got his trnasfer for work so now he can move in!#!$# YES@#@%$#$^$%&^& i'n in a good mood right now.. even though a few things are kind bugging me, but ill get over it i guess. i hope everyone is good. i love you all. 0 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Tuesday October 4th, 2005] i just ate eggs, bacon, and maple sausage. yum so today ive had egg salad cheese :) and my dinner which is up there. low carbs never tasted so good haha. i hope hope hope this works. :) ♥ i love my journal friends for the most part. 10 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Tuesday October 4th, 2005] new halloween layout kinda thingie. check it out and let me know what you think pleasee. oh and friends cut soon? 7 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Monday October 3rd, 2005] sorry i havent updated in a while a lot of stuff has happened. let me start off by saying derek lied to me. the girl whose house he spent the night at, she was all over him all night and he told me that nothing happened. i told him i didnt want to fight about it and everything but im really upset about it. because as far as i know hes never lied to me before. and he doesnt know that its been bugging me.. SO much. my diet starts tomorrow and im SOOO excited actually haha. i hope to loose like 20 pounds then i will be SO happy. anyway my friend mat and my best friend adriann went out the first day they met and broke up the very next morning. haha at drunk one night relationsips. i think its funny anyway. oh and i love strong medicine. its such a good show haha. i hope everyone is doing well. ♥ 6 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Thursday September 29th, 2005] i'm going on the south beach diet with my mom and boyfriend. yay. 2 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Thursday September 29th, 2005] Children find parents' dead bodies Detectives suspect man shot his wife, then himself This story appeared in the Antelope Valley Press on Thursday, September 29, 2005. By JAMES C. LOUGHRIE Valley Press Staff Writer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PALMDALE - The bodies of a dead husband and wife were discovered by their three children Wednesday morning. The couple, dressed in sleeping attire, were in the master bedroom of their east Palmdale house, dead from gunshot wounds in what detectives believe is a murder-suicide committed by the husband. The couple, whose identities were not available Wednesday, were found shortly before 7 a.m., but may have been dead for a few hours, said Detective David Castillo of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department's Homicide Bureau. He said there might have been a domestic dispute before the shooting. "It doesn't look like there was a fight" or any violence before the shooting, Castillo said. "But something was obviously, grossly wrong in that bedroom." After deputies responded to the house, the three children were taken to the Palmdale Sheriff's Station and supervised by Social Services, Lt. Larry Lincoln said. Cora Lau has lived at the house across the street from the couple for 17 years. She said they moved in around eight years ago and were a quiet family who kept to themselves. "I've never heard them fight. They were just very quiet people," she said. "I've never heard any kind of commotion from that house at all." This would be the third murder-suicide in the Antelope Valley this year. Last week, Antonio Villarreal Meza, 39, killed his 15-year-old daughter, Angelica Maria Meza, and himself in their Tehachapi home. In July, Marvin Clark, 79, killed his wife, 76-year-old Elizabeth Clark, and then turned the gun on himself. 1 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Wednesday September 28th, 2005] last night my neighbor killed his wife then killed himself while their kids were in the house. i'm not sure if the kids saw everything but its just really sad. my cousin who lives down the street was best friends with one of the kids who lives there, and just i feel so bad for those kids. 6 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Tuesday September 27th, 2005] i'm bored.... if anyone wants help with a layout let me know... it will keep my busy. la la laaaaa i love scary kids scaring kids. but not as much as i love modest mouse! k..someone tell me a story. please. :) 4 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Monday September 26th, 2005] [ mood | horny ] [ music | scary kids scaring kids ] rain and thunder storms make me smile because i ADORE the rain. derek and i are better, hes just too wonderful for words. even if he does make me mad sometimes. he's still my little man and i love him. i love music so much. yeah thats all kids. ♥ 0 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Monday September 26th, 2005] oh check out my new layout and let me know what you think. this one might actually stay for once! 5 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Sunday September 25th, 2005] the wedding was good. i got SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO drunk and yeah open bars♥ haha but my cousin tracie drank too much and we had to take her to the ER and just wow she scared us... derek is PISSING ME OFF. he spent the night at this girls house AFTER HE PROMISED ME he wouldnt...then he PROMISED hed be here and wait for me to get home till he went over to daniels for recoring. I still can't beleve he spent the night over there.GKLJDFJAFR094WR he is fucking up big time.. and he know it. heres some photosss 17 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

[Friday September 23rd, 2005] dereks show is tonight woop woop hes such a babe on stage...mmm :) the wedding is tomorrow... kinda nervous i dont know why its not like im getting married haha i need to get skinny. food 1 cowboy dan ♥ cowboy scene

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